Hello blog world,
I feel like I am making it a very bad habit of not posting very often at all and then apologising for it. So if you didn’t see it coming, here it is again! I’m sorry it’s been so long. But I promise I have a good reason.
I have taken a new step in life, an adult step. I have officially moved out and in my first ever flat! How exciting! So, one thing you need to know about moving out is that it’s okay to feel so many different emotions because I can tell you now, I felt so many emotions I don’t even know what half of them even were. Excited, happy and finally becoming and adult, to also feeling so scared, sad, confused and so much more.
I think suffering from anxiety really doesn’t help this sort of situation. I’ve thought to myself for a long time now, i’m ready to start a new chapter in my life and felt like things in my life were getting way to intense and to stressful and really did not help my anxiety. So I needed to be selfish and think about myself and do something about it, as hard as it was I made the decision to move out.
I’ve lived in the same house for 23 years, so that’s why I found it so difficult. I wasn’t used to big changes and I have to admit that I relied on my parents a lot growing up. I had a normal childhood, nothing crazy but had loving parents who looked after and took care of me. About 5/6 years ago now, something happened between my family and I honestly just felt like my life was just slowing falling to pieces, just one thing after another and wasn’t to sure how to handle things or if anything was going to get better. I was a very shy person, so didn’t express my feelings, opinions and emotions what so ever. So having all these emotions and thoughts in my head was to much which I think made me realise my anxiety.
I wouldn’t say my anxiety is as ‘severe’ as other people. But to be honest I don’t feel like I know enough about anxiety. It’s probably because it took me so long to realise that I have it or that I’m in denial about having a form of anxiety. Wow, this just got rather deep and depressing! I think the reason I am actually admitting this for the first time to people I don’t know is because I want people to be more aware of anxiety.
Of course, I’m not saying at all that no one knows about it, I mean you see so much about it now its incredible and that’s the way I found out that I had it. If it wasn’t for the amount of awareness being shown, I would be the person I am today, I still have a long way to go but I feel like I’m a lot further than I ever thought i’d be. I just wanted to let people know that it’s not something to be afraid of. You just have to embrace and learn to deal with it in a way that makes you comfortable. There is no wrong way either, whatever works best for you. Whatever makes you happy! Okay, now I near to steer this into a more happier note. Don’t see your anxiety or any other mental health issues as a burden or a bad thing, it’s who you are and makes you who are as a person! Be happy with yourself, it won’t come to you just like that, heck I’m still working it out myself. But with the love and support of others around you or just support from yourself, you can achieve whatever you want and be whoever you want. Don’t let other people put you down, you are stronger than you think. Just remember, change your thoughts and you change your world.
Here is a tattoo I got for my to look at when I’m either feeling happy or even feeling down.
Live by the sun, Love by the moon.
You see all my light and you love my dark.
It reminds me that were not all perfect, we all have light and dark. Positive and Negatives. But that makes us who we are and we should love who we are no matter what. It takes time and were all still learning but we will get there, it may take a long time but its sometimes more about the journey and not the destination.
I hope this could help some of you out there who are feeling a little down and that your not alone. Also, hope this wasn’t to much or to deep! I’m very nervous about posting this and still as i’m typing this right now I’m debating it. But I know it’ll be worth it if it just makes someone that little bit happy or just puts the smallest smile on someones face.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you all have a magical day. 🙂